Painting kitchen cabinets with your kids home? Totally easy– if you’re insane.
Phase 1: Collect Underpants.
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Profit.
I have had this nonsense from the Gnomes episode of Southpark going through my head for days. You’re welcome.
Oh, and the actual point of the post, which is to tell everyone (in my best Australian sham-wow voice) that lives in the internet how YES, you CAN have a BRAND NEW KITCHEN for a the low, low price of $63.00 and many a few hours of sweat equity.
The first step is, of course, to do some internet research (I mostly used pinterest and BHG and gather your supplies based on your decisions. I did most of my shopping in the basement, thus this assortment of preparatory items cost me $0. But if you aren’t a hoarder, you’d need to get a degreaser, sand-paper, oil-based primer, rags, and foam rollers. I did have to buy a few packages of foam rollers ($13).
Next you will remove and label all of your cabinet doors, handles, and hinges. My kitchen has a large foot print, without as many cabinets (by choice). I labeled the top row of doors with letters, the bottoms with numbers. I’m not sure why– but it made sense at the time. Phase 1: Collect Underpants, right?
Lay something down on the ground and wash the cabinets with a degreaser. I used a TSP product because it was–say it with me, “already in the basement”. Otherwise I probably would have used warm vinegar and water. Note, all the internet advice for cleaning cabinets recommends a TSP product. I also sanded out here, rather than in the basement like normal. We have 3 different electric hand sanders (…why?), so I picked the one on top, and sanded.
Sit down and stare at the jumbled mess inside your cabinets. Berate yourself for allowing that which is behind closed doors to be in such disorder. Start calculating the number of hours that have been wasted from retrieving–and returning–pans to their part of the stack. Wonder why you aren’t storing all baking, spices, oil and vinegar in the lazy susan. You know, where you can reach them. Plan to make a different plan while you are priming the doors.
Gaze in joy at the primed surfaces, right before leaving for a children’s museum that will be hosting no less than 10 elementary school classes on field trips.
I did several coats of the primer to make sure nothing would bleed through. Once everything dried, it was time to start on the finish coats.
Lightly coat with paint (I used Benjamin Moore’s Low VOC Natura paint–$50– in Super White). Let dry. Sand (280 grit). Wipe (fancy folks use tack cloth– I used a damp cloth diaper).
Rinse and repeat until you are satisfied with the finish.
Re-attach the hinges and the doors.
Now, part of any home improvement project is how much time it will actually take. Well, I always think it will take an hour, and JB always thinks it will take 4 months. Somewhere in between is the real answer, but I needed data.
I could add all that up for y’all, but I promised the Small People a hot wheels track. Like an hour ago– whoops. Y’all are smart though– you can do the math, right?