Be The Adult, Part II

As promised, the story of Little Snot. Listen, LS– you are already at a friend-making disadvantage because your attending parent happens to be the only Dad in the room. And, for the record–Moms, dissing Dads just because they are male is a super lame attitude. Hello, reverse sexism. Though, E and I missed the first class, perhaps you all knew something I only found out about today. I tried to be nice to the Dad, because I’ve actually known some stay at home dads and I don’t like dissing Those With Penis’s at the playground, pool, or music classes. If I have found being a SAHM isolating, I cannot imagine how lonely the average SAHD must get. And seriously, if the SAHD is there to pick up chicks, dating is likely going to remain a problem for him. Once you are part of the parenting alone during the day club, gender should not exist.

However, SAHD- when your LS continues to shove my kid, I’m now judging you as harshly as I judge other moms out in public. I remember that the best way of saying “hey, can we be friends” was accomplished by shoving, smacking, and later, for me the snapping of bra straps. Much like biting behavior, pushing is more about language deficiency than violence. Because I’m an adult, I get all of that. However, also because I’m an adult, when my kid pushes another kid (especially, gasp— a stranger!) I correct them. In the same way I keep putting broccoli that I know won’t get eaten on the plate– Over and over and over and over again, until it sinks in. Unless it’s the one time you scream a curse word out at a bad driver– that stuff they get right away.

E did us all proud by repeating, “THAT’S NOT VERY NICE” and–most importantly– not giving up his spot in front of the flower bucket to the kid that outweighed him by a good 15 lbs. Or pushing Little Snot back. That said, he also refused to play with Little Snot on the playground and I payed for being nice to the SAHD when he creepily walked followed us to the car and stood right behind me while I put E in the car seat.

For the love of all that is hardness of being a parent– just, please remember to Be The Adult. Even when it’s embarrassing and headache-inducing.

Be The Adult

Say it with me– no, seriously, just try it: Be the Adult. And when your children are being children, remember that your job as a parent is to be the adult.

Want your child to follow directions? Then you, as the adult, should also follow directions.
Want your child to respect you, and others? Then you, as the adult, should also respect them, yourself, and others.

Every time I drop Z off at school, Elliot gets that sad, but-I-wanna-go-face, too. And next fall, assuming I can find one that doesn’t rival college tuition for the both of them, he will. In the meantime, I enrolled him in a once a week music class thing. He likes music, he keeps talking about friends. The class was cheap. This should all work out, right?

Um.

1) The music was way too loud. Mr. Sensitive to Loud Sounds wasn’t a fan, though he got better.
2) This was his first structured class. With a gaggle of mutinous 2 year olds.
3) Sitting still is hard. Of course, he’s 2 and he’s related to yours truly. However, this became indubitably harder when dealing with the handful of other kids who just weren’t even trying to sit still.
4) One of the Little Snots kept pushing him and Little Snot’s father did nothing to correct LS’s behavior.

I actually anticipated all of those items. When you are hanging out with Small People en masse, you kind of have to. That behavior is developmentally appropriate, which is to say, they are toddlers and toddlers tend to not behave in white-gloves with tea-cups kind of way. They yell, run, push, and otherwise ignore politely delivered instructions. Part of the impetus for enrolling children in these types of scenarios is to socialize them, so they can learn how to behave as a member of society.

How-em-so-ever… Socializing means correcting and teaching them which behaviors are acceptable at which times. Do I expect my 2 year old to sit still on my lap for an hour? Hell’s no– not even uber-compliant Zach could (can) do that. But there were lots of movement breaks in between songs, thus plenty of opportunities for them to sit, then move around.

It wasn’t too much sitting that was the problem. It was too many parents incapable of following the instructors directions. Which leads me to my gripe of the day, “Be The Adult”. Kind of synonymous with “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Or, put a different way, “why would you expect your precious to listen to the teacher when you aren’t.”

Yes, it does suck to drag a screaming child out of the room. Know what sucks even more? Having a strange kid screaming in my face, waving drumsticks too close to my eyeballs. Know what else sucks? Listening to you scream at your child to STOP YELLING whilst you sit on your couture-d butt across the room. I’m totally guilty of yelling across the house– but in public I get up. For the same reason I wear a bra– because I’m in PUBLIC.

As for Little Snot. Well, I’ll save him for tomorrow.