“Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggonit people like me!”
Y’all, SNL intended that Stuart Smalley’s incessant need for Daily Affirmation be a joke.
Yet whenever I turn on the internet (aka Facebook as it delivers most of my important information, and yes, I am painfully embarrassed about this) these viral articles, some of which moved me to tears of appreciation*, sound a lot like a Daily Affirmation.
*Being told by some ubiquitous stranger that I’m an amazing mom after a day that has ended with any one (or all) of us slamming doors and screaming feels… nice.
“That’s just stinkin’ thinkin!”
Trend: Mothers declaring themselves as non-compete in this pinworthy (seriously folks, the non-words rebranding into verbs? Too much) world.
Um, Duh? Look, I like pinterest; I thought a visual bulletin board to be an amazing concept for organizing the obscurity on the internet. I don’t like that it turned into a popularity contest.
BUT, not liking the hostile takeover of my bookmarking site, and spending more than 4 minutes typing out why I don’t like it are different.
Ain’t nobody got time for that shit.
“Compare and despair.”
Yes. And simultaneously, no.
I compare the mother I am today with the mother of two years ago and… dude, what a screw up she was.
The mother I am right now wouldn’t exist without those mistakes that still, even now, I keep stored in a clear glass specimen jar– a la 9th grade biology.
But I will, without an ounce of apology, declare the day null and count continued lung function as a measurable parenting success.
However when those unprovoked mini-breaks (illness and pregnancy count as provoked) morph into a recognizable slack-assness habit?
A quiet whisper with the mothering equivalent of “you know that whole pizza wasn’t 200 calories” is the absolutely right voice for the moment.
Mom bloggers reassure us that our concerns are unfounded, which go viral (of course) because, dammit, that’s what we all want to hear. Whether it’s true or not.
Check it out, not only am I sometimes the antithesis of awesome, sometimes I’m SO not-awesome that a group hug affirming how fantastic I am in my not-awesomeness perpetuates fraud.
I consider my personal parenting style a fluctuation between too-awesome-for-this-sauce and skirting the edge of benign negligence.
My kids absolutely need both– and every point in between.
Awesome mom smiles while singing Everyone was Kung Fu Farting, complete with mouth-farting noises.
Benign negligence mom pretends not to see them digging a lake in the backyard.
However, I’ve been rolling around in my derision of my personal favorite– but that one will have to wait until Monday.
“I’m in a shame spiral.”