My Creative Mind

Long before I had my own children, I overheard a stranger lightly scold her child’s use of his “creative mind” at a grocery store. That child was 1) old enough to know better, and 2) opening all of the freezer doors to knock down the carefully arranged boxes of food.

What does that story have to do with this post? Um. Nothing. Except I can’t use the phrase, creative mind without also thinking troublemaker. And considering that my husband reacts to 85.3% of my creative project ideas with the same thought, it seemed apropos.

One of my biggest ADHD challenges isn’t focus. Watch me read a book from a favorite author. 600 pages in a day? No problem. They refer to that as hyperfocus, and while challenging and disruptive, I cope okay.

No, my catastrophic problems occur more in the time estimation/management arena. For example, I think I can do almost anything in an hour, and that it only ever takes 15 minutes to get from Point A to B. Nevermind that nothing can be done in an hour anymore (Small People!) and it takes me 15 minutes to transition activities. That my tried and true time management methodology includes crisis and looming deadlines is problematic. But when some “normie” (aka, a typically thinking, non-ADHD person known as husband) tries to help me plan effectively, my immediate reaction is, “WTF—I’m not an idiot! I use to be a project manager!” And while both of those statements are true, I still slid right up to every deadline, often making them only by the hair of my chiny-chin-chin. Just a teeny bit of an adrenaline junky.

It’s that complete lack of time management that took me from webmd (checking for early strep throat symptoms– just in case) to facebook, to pinterest, then to here. It’s not a lack of focus– I’m hyperfocusing on NOT putting away a Mt. Everest sized pile of laundry. I’m totally smitten with pinterest. The possibilities. The creativity. The ability to symbolically collect magazine clippings without having a bunch of magazine clippings.

It brings joy to my heart, people.

Internet Rehab? I said, “No, no, no”

I freely admit to spending too much time being sucked deep into the bowels of the internet. Checking facebook, reading email, going to my online mom-forum. Rinse, repeat.

Perhaps a flowchart?
Ah- this is where I was going to insert the witty representation of how my day goes from having possibilities to a time wasteland. Until I realized that the amount of time spent puttering around with the flowchart actually counted as wasted time. Looking at the resulting mess from Small People and Scattermom sewing, and knowing that I need to disappear said mess before JB gets home from work means no flowchart. It was gonna be epic, though.

What is it about the internet that makes us feel so… obligated? I don’t hesitate to ignore a ringing phone; hell, my ringer isn’t even on most of the time. But an email? OMG– that deserves my immediate attention. Unless it requires more than 2 lines of response, then my response has to be saved for nap time. This is just ridiculous, considering the skill with which I ignored email when answering email was my job.

Does anyone else feel like there is some serious political stuff happening with social networking? Kind of the same, I imagine, as with being a professional blogger. Not that I would know, since to enter Blognia, or Bloggy-Land, requires another serious level of commitment. And the phrase Bloggy-love makes me puke in my mouth.

But I digress.

Our generation’s attitude seems to be irrevocably shifting. We are expected to raise these wonderfully secure, and emotionally capable children. In addition we are also supposed to process the influx of information about other people’s lives.

For serious? Just today, in real life I was 30 minutes late to my own playdate, and somehow managed (for the first time) to forget diapers. So that’s me. Not even keeping up with MY life.

And while it makes sense that one has to participate in order to be participated with (ohhh…that sounds dirty), I have one teeny-tiny question. If a facebook status update is synonymous with a phone call, am I really obligated to answer if a person calls me 6 times a day? Or to spend 20 minutes looking at your photo album from weekly Farmer’s Market trip?

Here’s the thing with me. It took one of my friend’s to point this out me, but my heavy online participation counts against my needed hermit-time. Just because those friends are coming through the laptop to get to my couch, doesn’t mean they aren’t still on my couch. Hoarding all up in my introvert space.

Not to mention…hello. Listen, don’t think I’m not your friend because I didn’t look at all 200 of those farmer’s market pictures. Sometimes it takes a long time for stuff to load, and I have thismuch patience. I do my fair share of excess photo loading (though not a deluge of the blurry, crappy ones. C’mon folks, there is a delete button!)

Yes, the are horrors running rampant in the world right now. Imagine every day you start off with X-amount of available head-space for negativity. Then imagine you have a 2 year old who answers “no” to the question “do you want ice cream”. See my point? I have to limit my moral outrage to my own 5 things. It’s cool if your 5 things are different from mine. Unless you think Monsanto isn’t the devil; then you’re just wrong and we might need to chat.

I’m certainly not quitting the internet, or even the facebook. It’s too late– I’m way too far into the matrix to get out now. I don’t even care how ridiculous Southpark made me feel when watching it with JB, a non-facebooker.

Now there is some other thing– some google thing– and I can’t even bring myself to really know what it is, despite having been added. I think it’s participating without me, which is kind of weird. Personally, google is scary enough. It turned itself into a verb– “I’ll google it”; how much longer until it has created the perfect hive-mind, kidnaps all the pesky human bodies, deploying robots that run from a decade of collected and stored metadata? Yeah. You hadn’t thought about that, had you?