Sometimes disgust and the resulting apathy is the right choice. Let me explain.
It’s Saturday morning, the youngest kid is throwing a fit* because I won’t let him take a 4 week old bearded dragon on a scooter ride; the oldest kid is quietly sulking**; the husband is zoned out because he’s going out of town in the afternoon***.
*The boys worked for, and earned, the money to purchase two bearded dragons. I, being the ultimate non-herpetologist chose the cheapest lizards, aka newborns. Understandably, there were some early adjustment issues; we’ve all since relaxed.
**Apparently he was nervous about his first week of summer camp.
***JB’s out of town trip? To Amsterdam, the land of wooden shoes, delicious chocolate, and diet-breaking cheese of the heavens. And Amsterdam.
I had grand plans for a day of family fun (who-hoo) that got smashed by negotiations and grocery shopping. Well, my fun– the three of them went to chuck e cheese, while I wept over being lame.
So I might have started Monday pre-seasoned for bitter.
A week of karate camp for two boys from 8-4? That’s 35 hours of free time. I had plans, both productive and creative.
Monday morning I started in the hall bathroom, determined to clean up some peeling caulk around the toilet. I should have known better.
But this happened, causing me to just say fuck it (disgust and apathy).
Having my face inches from someone else’s piss crystals twisted something in my soul. One of those pivotal, life-altering moments where the crystallized pee shone up into the cloudy sky, a beacon for the ultimate metaphor of wasted time and effort.
So I did this.
Followed by this.
And then this.
With several versions of this.
And more of this than my kids need to know about.
Then today, on the very last day of my karate-camp vacation? I did this.
And it was good.